At Dog Beach in Ocean Beach, California, we were shocked and embarrased as we feigned attention elsewhere. Our dogs, two bassets and one shepherd mix each took a healthy "dump" shortly after we reached the beach.
I know mankind is typically the hunter-gatherer, but really! I understand that mankind is a warmongering creature and yet mankind can be meek, humble, and obedient. Obedience can be a necessary trait - "stop" - "go" - "thou shalt not" - and "do not litter" - all ring the bell of the basics. As a warrior, I possess those survival skills critical to daily life whether I'm first in line or sharpening those negotiation skills. My goal is "survival of the fittest," but a hunter-gather? Sure, I can comprehend a duck hunt in a grocery store or the pursuit of a soda pop. I can understand growing herbs, spices, and vegetables for a garden salad to set at a greatful table. I can even picture organizing my home, yard, and desk such that I'm neat, tidy, and presentable. But, wait just one minute! Why must I feel shocked and embarrased when my dogs take a healthy movement on the sandy beach... Just because I won't and don't "gather" the hot turd! And to see the others...inserting their hands into a plastic Walmart bag - an ineffective attempt to improvise a glove - bending low and close as they reach for their canines crap. I can only imagine: the object suddenly within their grasping "gloved" hand must actually be hot! 98.6 degrees hot to be approximate...What must the dog be thinking? I sincerely want to know what the dog is thinking, "Oh, dog-god, this is embarrassing! The gatherers are at it again...picking up my poop!"
You know, perhaps you can help me with my question. How does poop decompose - en masse - in an organized landfill: individually wrapped and knotted safely in a not-so-dainty plastic Walmart-type bag? Resting not all that far from a mountain of amply filled plastic diapers and never perused AT&T Yellow Pages.
I know mankind is typically the hunter-gatherer, but really! I understand that mankind is a warmongering creature and yet mankind can be meek, humble, and obedient. Obedience can be a necessary trait - "stop" - "go" - "thou shalt not" - and "do not litter" - all ring the bell of the basics. As a warrior, I possess those survival skills critical to daily life whether I'm first in line or sharpening those negotiation skills. My goal is "survival of the fittest," but a hunter-gather? Sure, I can comprehend a duck hunt in a grocery store or the pursuit of a soda pop. I can understand growing herbs, spices, and vegetables for a garden salad to set at a greatful table. I can even picture organizing my home, yard, and desk such that I'm neat, tidy, and presentable. But, wait just one minute! Why must I feel shocked and embarrased when my dogs take a healthy movement on the sandy beach... Just because I won't and don't "gather" the hot turd! And to see the others...inserting their hands into a plastic Walmart bag - an ineffective attempt to improvise a glove - bending low and close as they reach for their canines crap. I can only imagine: the object suddenly within their grasping "gloved" hand must actually be hot! 98.6 degrees hot to be approximate...What must the dog be thinking? I sincerely want to know what the dog is thinking, "Oh, dog-god, this is embarrassing! The gatherers are at it again...picking up my poop!"I'll tell you what...My dog has never been shocked - embarrassment never felt - all because I AM NOT A GATHERER OF DOG POOP!
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